i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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