i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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