nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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