benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
