The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
