What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Randomize
