i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
