So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
