Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
