so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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