how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Found your dick twin last night
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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