Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
