thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
