Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
