i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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