I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
