I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
