I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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