awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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