the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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