I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
