in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
