i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
