party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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