Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
