why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
