Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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