I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
