Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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