Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
