I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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