I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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