no. you can't hotbox the world.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
we're so committed to being not committed
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
