i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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