the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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