Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
