Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I could fuck to npr.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
