i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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