Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
