Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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