Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
