I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
