All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
