Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
