He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
