I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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