i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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