I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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