I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
