so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
