gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
