She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
