just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
